#47 - Soon

No pictures today.
Too tired.

Look at the time now,
Wow it's 5:40 am.
Explain later in the post.

Normal school day,
Woke up early today,
Yay.
School was normal,
Just that I've been sneezing/coughing for x100000 times in school.
Feel so sickly,
Yet I'm still sleeping so late aish..
Got home at 5+pm,
Decided to take a nap at about 6pm.
All the way till close to 9pm.
Woke up and played dota with Giggs and company.

Decided to start on my investment project.
Camped investopedia,
Watched trends,
Bought shares,
Research.
I can't describe the experience,
It's fun,
So much anticipation,
Almost like gambling your life.
Okay exaggerating,
Just fun.

So while I was playing and watching my shares,
I finished up my work as well.
Was kinda waiting for my girl as well.
It's the first day I'm getting no news from her.
12 am, nothing,
Went to play.
1 am, nothing,
Went to play.
2 am, nothing,
Went to do other stuff.
3 am, nothing, 
Went to play.
4 am, nothing,
Basically given up,
But since the market closes in an hour's time,
Camped at investopedia with Jeremy and Giggs till 5am.
Was quite relieved to see me shares rise back up,
Phew.
So yeap,
Organised screenshots,
Updates and stuff of the market,
Then viola!
Here I am now,
Almost zombified.
Really really hope that I can wake up tomorrow morning for class,
Aish.
She's coming back,
Soon,
Real soon.
I'm waiting,
As usual.
One long week,
Finally over.
Aye.
Gotta go to bed now,
Have a great day ahead,
Byeeee.

Hey,
Where were you?
I waited for so long aye..
I do think I deserve an explanation,
Not in a bad way but,
Yea just an explanation.
I was so worried,
That something might have happened to you.
Hope everything's fine yea.
I'm so tired right now aish,
Hope you understand how much our night convos mean to me.
You're coming back soon,
Like finally.
Please let tomorrow night be a smooth one alright?
I'm going to bed now,
I really hope,
I get some kind of compensation tomorrow morning.
Meh..
Nights dear,
Sweet dreams.
With big hugs and kisses, mua.
I love you,
And I really miss you.
Aye.

Signing Off.

#46 - Inner Peace

I wish.

---


I. Need. To. Find.
Inner Peace.

Nothing much to blog about,
I just want to sleep.

Spent one whole day at Sec School clique friend's place.
Finished some work there and played LoL the whole day.
Ranked games,
Kept matching me up with stupid teammates.
So sososososososo IRRITATING.
I've always outperformed in games,
And yet I get what I don't deserve?
It's like,
Having a tag that labels you,
But somehow you just got dragged down by luck and people.
It's supposed to show how good you are,
But yet it just shows people otherwise,
And you know that you're framed into it.
Well,
"Framed".
You don't deserve it at all.
It's just so,
Frustrating and irritating.
I really really,
Don't know how to put this feeling into words.
All I know is,
I can really, 
Punch the wall.
Literally,
If I were to be invited to punch one,
Rest assured,
Consider it done.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
Irritatinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Alright sorry,
Felt much better ranting it here.
Just done with my work I'm supposed to do,
Time to respond to my 2nd wife's call and seduction,
Mah beddddddddddddddddd.
Nights peeps,
Monday blues? 
Ftw.

Hey girl,
Sorry I lost it.
But yeah,
If you were to do that I'd just,
Felt that I'm looked down upon.
You don't deserve it as well,
Really.
Just let a man fight for his own pride alright?
Rather than helping him like this,
Why not help him by giving him support?
He'd feel really really bad if you did that,
Really.
Of course if you're here with me I'll play with you,
But when you're not around I'll just play alone casually.
Alright?
It's stupid to quarrel over this,
Game of a bitch.
Aish,
I shrugged you off to avoid further arguments.
You're overseas,
All the more I don't want to quarrel with you.
Hope I still get a note from you in the morning aye.
Didn't do this properly just now but,
Nights dear sweet dreams,
With big hugs and kisses,
Mua, I miss you.
I'll be waiting ya,
Love you.

Signing Off.

#45 - Why!?

Fall asleep in my arms once again.

---

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Stupid ranked games ): .

Lost 2, Won 2, then Lost 2 again.

I've never performed badly in all the games,

Just mistakes from teamates.

Most of the time, 

It's just being matched up with idiots.

Aish.

I'll be playing ranked a lot I guess.

Really can't stand to see myself on a 11xx elo level.

I really really don't deserve it.

Zzz.

My performances were splendid and yet I lose again and again,

Because of stupid match-ups.

Aye,

Fuck this,

Need to get some rest.

Going to sec school clique's place later on,

Hope I can get some work done.

Gonna play ranked again and again.

Aish.

Woke up at 1 plus,

Played 2 games and lost.

Then met up with Giggs and Jeremy at 4.40pm at Yck.

Went to NYP,

But guess what?

No facilities were opened.

So we didn't get to submit our work.

Oh well.

[When I got home the fucking HeuCampus can fucking log in]

In the end,

We went to AMK Hub for pepper lunch,

Then went to Raiders to play and play and play.

Till 9,

Totally exhausted.

On the train back with Jeremy,

We saw a crazy, like literally crazy young man.

Pretending to talk on the phone everytime the train reaches a station,

Running from carriage to carriage,

Spinning rounds around the pole,

Laughing like 'EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE' with a witchy tune,

Dancing to himself in front of the door's reflection,

Pole dance in the middle of the carriage.

Literally laughed my ass off.

So funny omg.

Alighted and got myself a Honey Glazed Chicken Sandwich from cheers.

Must admit,

It was quite worth the $3.

Got home, 

Played and won 2.

Then my girl came online,

Talked and talked till 2+.

Then I decided to play again,

After losing 1,

I put my hopes on a second game to ease the uneasy feeling I was having.

Instead,

I lost another,

Argh.

Now I'm supposed to sleep with this,

Unsatisfying, 

Frustrating,

Irrtating,

Feelings.

Just very erm,

'Gao Wey' you know?

Aish.

Shall head to bed before she kills me for sleeping late.

Nights world,

Hope you guys won't be so unlucky as I am.

Enjoy the last day of the weekend,

Ciao.

Felt really happy talking to you,

And seeing you.

Was pretty heartwarming.

Have a good rest aye,

I'll miss you qt.

Will be waiting for your news tomorrow morning,

Love ya.

Signing Off.

#44 - ill

I need,

Lots of it.

---

Alright gotta keep this short,

It's 5am.

The day started out bad.

Woke up dizzy, cold, and aching in the head.

Couldn't get myself off the bed,

Cause I know I'd collapse if I did.

So I slept back, and basically skipped the first 2 hours of Econs lecture.

Special thanks to Zoe,

Who bothered to wake me up,

And got me food still for class.

Really a big THANK YOU zeh.

I owe you one.

Rushed out of house and reached school at 11:11am.

Ate plain waffles in the class,

Was feeling really really sick by then.

Lesson was dry,

And 101% boring.

Usually the class would be fun and lively,

Maybe it's because I'm down with this illness that I asked for.

Have not been sleeping properly lately,

Really regretted it.

Got home, 

Bought plain udon for myself.

Checked a few things up on computer.

Then went to bed at 3:30pm,

Allllllllllllllll the way till 6:30pm.

It was great, real great,

But it wasn't cure my illness aish.

Settled myself down for dinner,

Porridge.

[See dear I'm taking care of myself]

Then started on EPS Presentation slides.

I told myself that,

I wanted my Presentation to be,

Motivational,

Inspirational.

I put in a lot of work into it.

Thought I'm distracted by Giggs and company by DotA midway,

But still, I managed to pull out a great PowerPoint.

Kinda vetted by Jeremy,

Thank you too!

You words were encouraging and nice to hear,

But sometimes it's hard to know whether they're true or not.

Cause we're all jokers you know :p.

In any case,

Thanks again!

Rushed out OOP's Practical 5 Question 1,

Gonna meet Giggs and Jeremy in school at 10 later (hopefully),

For breakfast,

Then hand in our practical through HeuCampus.

Really swear I heard that we could submit online.

Aye.

After all the work being done,

I indulged in gaming.

Lots of it.

With Giggs and company,

Really great peeps to play with.

Lacked self-control though, 

Look at the time now!

Gonna have a long nap again later.

Need to recover and recuperate ASAP.

Been checking stocks and doing lots of research ever since the gaming stopped.

I think it's time to hit the rag.

Cya guys!

Have a great well-deserved rest,

And may your weekend be fruitful.

I'm carrying lots of hope in your words,

Please mean them,

Please.

I've had a lot of disappointments lately,

But I still believe in you.

Please mean the things you say alright?

Life without you is,

Cutting me deep.

I'm bleeding everywhere I go.

I miss you a lot.

Please come back to me soon.

I love you.

Take care.

Signing Off.

#43 - Relief

Yep,

Procrastination.

---

Yes yes yes, it's 4:45am now.

Who on earth stays up till this unholy hour on a school day.

Me!

Been procrastinating a lot,

But at least I tell myself that I won't sleep till I get my work done!

Yep, it's done.

It was haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.

Gosh.

Played a bit today.

Totally met a bunch of idiots in LoL.

Luckily Giggs and company was there to win in DotA.

Phew.

Nothing much today as well,

Just another ordinary day.

Keeping this short and sweet because I'm dead beat.

It's the 3rd day without you.

It ain't good feeling this at all.

I miss you so much, aish.

Thank you for the text just now.

I'm so so so relieved,

That that was the one text,

That made me felt a lot better.

Please please please,

Do mean what you say alright?

Promise me that you'll remember what you say aye?

It's been only a short while we seen each other on Skype,

But it was enough to make me happy inside.

Hope time will pass faster,

I really can't take this for long.

I need you,

Like, With me.

Really.

Aye :\ .

Sorry for the short post,

Really really tired it's close to 5am now.

I'll catch you later alright.

Take care of yourself.

I hope you mean what you say.

Nights peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps,

Snores*

Signing Off.

#42 - Dying

It's the second day without you.

Life is, horrible.
With the endless thoughts, it's like I've fallen into a bottomless pit.
Dying a little inside as I fall further, and further.
Away from the hopes,
Away from the belief.

I'm worrying.
About your safety.
About your feelings.
About your environment.
About what's happening.
About your promises.
About disappointments.
There's just so much..
But what you showed me tonight was just,
Wrong.
I'm feeling so, SO, insecure.
I'm so scared.
I'm so afraid.
Disappointments, time and again.
No, I don't want that.
Am I asking for too much?
Tell me if I am.
This feeling I have now,
Is just so,
Indescribable.

My mind, my body,
Tell me to give up.
Tell me to stop caring about certain stuffs.
So that it wouldn't hurt so bad anymore.
But whenever I adhere,
My heart aches as if it's slapping me in my chest instead of my face.
It's stopping me, repeatedly.
I only have one cure for this,
And that's you.
Save me,
Help me.
Prove to me,
Prove my thoughts and instincts wrong.
Would you?
Please?

I know that I'm different from other guys out there.
I'm a hell lotta trouble,
But in a good way if one can withstand.
I'm sensitive,
I care a lot.
I'm emotional,
I feel a lot.
I go the extra mile to make my girl happy.
Not to boast or whatever but,
If you're with me long enough,
I guess things are obvious.
Of course,
Everyone ain't perfect.
I'm a hell of a over-thinking bastard.
I know.
It annoys people,
It irritates people,
It agitates people,
It frustrates people.
But, it just shows that I care, so much.
Everything would've been fine if I'm attended to appropriately.
And after that I myself would give people the way they deserve to be treated.
Think about it,
How many of the same species,
That genuinely gives their best to care,
Are left out there.
Cherish what you have,
Learn to live with the flaws.
Change it,
Else, learn to love it.
It takes two hands to clap.
If one's willing to do so,
I'm more than willing to comply.

Gosh, sorry for the rant.
I'm just tired I guess.
Or rather, exhausted by now.
Was almost late this morning,
Luckily I made it in time.
It's been a really short day as well.
Nothing much in school as well,
Just completed a few things and got more things to do.
Ended school at approx 1pm.

Went to Grassroots Club's western restaurant and ate with bros.
Service sucks, Food commendable.
I'd choose not to go there again because of the service I guess.
Then stoned at the resting area in the lobby for 1 long hour.
Been attached to this game on phone,

MonStar Fishing
Quite an interestingly new concept for fishing games.
Combined with the usual card games/gem games features they have on iOS.
Pretty much fun with the heavy competition among players.

DragGems is an ideal gem game for strategically inclined people as well.
Do check it out, it's pretty fun.

It started pouring by then,
Went back to school for Open House Briefing.
It was hilarious,
Tried to be the joker of the day.
Turned out great.
Ended at 4:30pm approximately,
And went home straight after.
Did nothing but texted my girl till 7pm plus,
When she vanished.
Then I decided to take a nap till 10pm.
Played a bit with Giggs,
Then stopped and stare to wait for her news again.
Which took pretty long.
3 long hours,
Of anticipation, worry, hurt, misses, sdlkfaslfksl;dafksd.
Whatever you can think of.
Then things happened again and again,
And she needed to go off early.
Didn't talk much.
Really hope that I can get a fresh,
Assuring and Firm piece from her soon.
It doesn't feel good at all having your other half leave your grasp.
Totally out of your control.
Aish.

It's 2.20am now,
I should get going.
Thank you for reading my rants.
Aye.
Have a great night guys,
Sayo.

Signing Off.

#41 - Distance

A lot,

A lot,

A hell lot.

---

It's the first day without you,

And it's already hurting so bad.

Aye..

I'm tired,

It's 4.30 a.m. here.

Just finished perfecting my programming project function not long ago.

Kinda slacked,

But don't worry I'll be napping to catch up with my sleep later on.

Open House meeting at 3pm later,

Hope it's not going to end too late.

Yes,

And really hope that I can wake up on time,

Which I haven't been doing the past 2 days.

Aishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It's nice hearing from you again..

The best part is, 

I get to see you and hear your voice too.

It's just,

So heartwarming.

Although there's just a little friction,

But yeah,

Good things over the bad,

It felt really soothing just looking at you.

I hope you mean what you said alright?

It's very assuring to hear a firm "I remember them all!" from you.

As cute as ever,

Though seeming a little lethargic.

That's my girl.

Grab some rest ya,

It's been a long day for you.

Bet you're having hard times without me as well,

But don't worry aye. 

Time'll pass.

Thought it might be painful,

But yeah,

We'll be back to each others' arms.

`- Time will keep ticking,

    but remember your heart will keep beating. 

    Distance is but a deception.

    Your heart knows it all. -`

Yeap I'm waiting for you.

Today hasn't been much.

Just an ordinary school day I suppose,

With a pinch of tiredness and a handful of solemn.

Just can't get used to not having you here for me.

Everytime I check my phone,

There's nothing.

Then the sheer realisation of you away from my grasp,

Kicks in, 

Hard.

Time and again.

I guess I'll just have to get used to it uh.

I miss your morning calls,

And your night texts.

I miss seeing you.

I miss everything about you.

Please come back to me quickly,

Will ya?

Take care alright,

Be careful.

I guess I'll stop here,

Getting really tired.

Really hope I can wake up later.

Thank you for that email too dear,

Will be expecting more from you.

And of course,

I'll be waiting for your news.

Nights and sweet dreams,

With big hugs and kisses,

Mua,

I love you.

I Really Do.

Aye?

---

Signing Off.